building body confidence & food freedom with dylan murphy, RD

Emily Field 00:00:00  Welcome back to Macros Made Easy. In episode 44, we’re diving into a topic that I know trips up so many of my clients body image and to help us navigate this conversation, I’m thrilled to welcome Dylan Murphy, a registered dietician and an expert in this area. Dylan is the founder of Free Method Nutrition, a virtual group nutrition practice that helps women build confidence in their bodies, clarity in their food choices, and consistency in their health habits through one on one and group coaching as well as online courses. Dylan and her team support clients in breaking free from diet culture while still prioritizing their health. She’s also the host of the Free Method podcast where she leads conversations on intuitive eating, realistic motherhood and overall wellbeing. In this episode, we cover so much ground what body neutrality is and why it can be more achievable than body positivity.

 

 Emily Field 00:00:46  How to tell if your approach to food is becoming too rigid and ways to separate macro tracking from diet culture. We also discuss practical strategies for improving body image, setting boundaries around food and body talk and navigating body changes through different life stages, including perimenopause and menopause. If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting to care for your body but not wanting to get caught up in diet culture, this episode is for you. Let’s get into it. Welcome to Macros Made Easy, the podcast that takes the confusion out of tracking macros. I’m your host, Emily Field, a registered dietician that specializes in a macros approach. In each episode, I help you learn how to eat in a way that supports your health body composition and athletic performance goals. We’ll cover the basics of macronutrients, how to track for various goals, the role of macros in your health and how to make sustainable changes to your habits. I’ve helped hundreds of people experience more food freedom and flexibility while navigating their nutrition. So whether you’ve tried macros and it just didn’t stick or you just heard the word macros yesterday, I can’t wait to help you too. So we have Dylan here. I am so excited to talk to her about body image, but I first wanna get a little bit of a picture about how you got started as a registered dietician with a practice and that focus on body image. ’cause that’s not a normal path for a lot of dieticians.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:02:03  Yeah, that’s a great question. So I feel like when I first, gosh, if I think back to high school, that was when I first really knew I wanted to be a dietician. But I think at that time I was still very much caught up in my own kind of like disordered eating patterns and like a little too obsessed with like exercise and how my body looked. So when I first thought about becoming a dietician, it was more from that standpoint of like, Ooh, I wanna help everyone eat like so clean and like be so skinny and like very like diet mindset. And that kind of continued throughout college and really throughout like my training to become a dietician was still kind of very disordered in my thinking. And you know, it’s interesting, I felt like a lot of what we’re even taught in school is very like calorie focused and diet focused kind of thing. It’s very

 

 Emily Field 00:02:53  Subliminal. Yes. You know, it’s like the essence of the textbooks and maybe even the lectures not really overtly, I mean maybe in some professors, but I agree with you. It’s like kind of subliminal like between the lines like leaner lighter is healthier, you know? Yeah. And then our standards for our success and progress are really based on like outdated metrics and things like that. Yeah. So it’s hard to separate the two when you get in the real world, you start

 

Dylan Murphy 00:03:18  Yeah, like deconstructing or Yeah,

 

 Emily Field 00:03:19  Deconstructing all of that.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:03:21  Like wait a second. And that kind of was like my story of after I graduated from my internship. So I live in Nashville and I just was networking with some local dieticians ’cause I knew I wanted to get into private practice at some point. And the more I learned about their practice and what they do, it really kind of stood out to me of like, ooh, I really enjoyed the overlap of kind of the like nutrition counseling piece where it almost feels like therapy esque but getting to bring in like the body and food and nutrition but yet in more of that like therapeutic lens. And so that naturally kind of rolled into body image as well. And I think around that same time was when I was kind of, I would say in the phase in my relationship with food and body where I was really starting to kind of like heal and realize like, wait a second, I can be healthy without being like so strict or doing these like crazy juice cleanses or forcing myself to go to the gym every day.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:04:18  Like all these like extreme things. So yeah, that’s kind of what got me into this space of like there are a lot of people that want to yes, take care of their body and like pay attention to how they’re moving their body and the foods they’re fueling themselves with, but also who maybe need to do some of the work around their own like body image. ’cause I think that’s what keeps people running back to diets is like mmhmm you’re trying to fix this kind of deeper rooted issue. So maybe you lose the weight but then you still don’t feel a hundred percent in your body. So it kind of keeps showing that hamster wheel. So it’s been cool to kind of get into the space where we’re really kind of touching both ends of like working on the body mid stuff while also helping them live just like a healthier lifestyle overall. Mmhmm

 

 Emily Field 00:05:02  Yeah. It’s gotta be so rewarding some of the success stories that you see and just like putting it front and center like so it’s not an accident, you know, for example that you’re working on body image or someone comes to you and we’re like sidestepping the body image stuff, you’re like saying front and center we’re gonna do both

 

Dylan Murphy 00:05:17  For sure. Yes. Mmhmm   Yes. And for some people it can be kind of uncomfortable of like yeah, ooh, this is like a lot to work on and can, you know, sometimes people come to sessions and it feels very like whoa this feels like therapy. Mmhmm   I mean it is in a sense obviously it’s different than just like true mental health therapy but like can feel very similar in the sense of like what clients are like talking about and feeling and opening up about. Mmhmm  

 

 Emily Field 00:05:42  So one of the things that I love when you talk to our clients and I’ve seen you do on social media is talk about that body neutrality piece. And that might be a new term for listeners. I’d love for you to explain what body neutrality is in opposition of maybe the body positive movement and then obviously body negative, like not hating your body. There’s this really awesome neutral space. Can you explain that? Yeah,

 

Dylan Murphy 00:06:04  Definitely. Yeah, I think when I first dove into this body image space, I saw so much messaging around like loving your body and feeling like comfortable and confident in your body. And like all of those things are great in theory, but also it could easily lead to the assumption of like, okay, so what about days where like I just don’t necessarily like love my body or feel comfortable in my body or yeah, I’m just having a bad day. What does that mean about my body image? And so I found so many people resonate more with this idea of like body neutrality where still there will be days where maybe you feel lean more towards that like body kind of like love or confidence. But the neutrality piece, the way I describe it and I think I’ve talked to your clients about this is you know, if we think about a broken arm, you don’t have to be like, oh my gosh, I’m so glad my arm is broken.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:06:55  This is so fun, so convenient, all the things. But we also don’t wanna lean the other way of like, I hate my arm, it’s so stupid, why would it break? It’s more of this like middle ground of kind of just accepting the facts of like, okay, my arm is broken. What do I need to do to take care of it? How can I make sure I’m healing properly? And so the same is true with our bodies of like we can show up each day of like, okay, maybe I just feel truly like the word says like neutral. Where I don’t necessarily love how I feel today, but also I’m not in this like super negative space. Mmhmm   And yeah, I would say a lot of the work that we do with our clients is helping them reach that point and having like being able to identify what that looks like of like, okay, I can look in the mirror and get dressed for the day. And maybe again like I said, that you’re not, oh my gosh, I love how I look in these jeans. But it can just feel more of this like okay, I need to wear jeans to work today. I’m putting on jeans and I’m walking out the door and I’m not putting any other like thought and energy into it.

 

 Emily Field 00:07:54  And not only thoughts but then not spiraling into a negative behavior either I’m going to restrict what I’m eating because I hate the way I look, I’m gonna skip breakfast. You know, that sort of thing. So that’s super powerful and that can be a goal. That is an awesome place to be. It might be for somebody who has terrible body image and shows up with much more negative body image days. Getting to neutrality can be a huge success And I like the way that you describe it. It’s like I have to put on jeans today and I’m walking out the door. You’re not thinking about it anymore, it’s gone. You know, that can be a success for people.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:08:30  Yes. And really with that, you know, the step before that is identifying like what do I need to do to be able to reach that neutrality? So if we’re thinking about like putting jeans on them in the morning, if you know, okay, usually when I get ready for work I spend way too much time in the mirror, I’m body checking, I’m looking at like how these fit. Maybe I’m trying on jeans that don’t fit me anymore. Maybe I’m just spending too much time in the mirror. All of those things that lead to like you’re saying, that kind of spiral into thoughts and behaviors. We wanna see, okay, if I’m trying to practice body neutrality, what do I need to do to prevent those spirals, those thoughts from coming up. Maybe I need to not even get dressed in front of the mirror. Maybe I need to just like turn around, get dressed somewhere else And you know, ’cause I think a lot of the times too if we think about like what is the purpose I’m using the mirror, it might be okay, does my outfit match?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:09:19  Is there stains? Are there wrinkles, things that you could tell without using a mirror? Totally. So like laying things out, getting dressed without using a mirror or even some of my clients will like set a timer of like, okay 30 seconds a minute. You know, whatever time makes sense for you. So then it gives you also that clear like, okay, timer went off, I’m walking away from the mirror now I’m ready to go to work, I’m ready to, you know, do whatever the next thing may be. So I think identifying like what are the things I need to do to move towards body neutrality? Yeah.

 

 Emily Field 00:09:50  That’s really powerful. Do you have any examples that you gave? You just gave some, but do you have any more examples of like how you would move that way like in a daytoday life sort of situation? Like getting dressed is a perfect example. I’m thinking about like even like how your clothes fit on your body at lunchtime or after you eat. Like that can be another way it shows up or I’m not sure

 

Dylan Murphy 00:10:09  For sure. Yeah, that’s a great thought too. I mean, and I think that shed light on like the way that our body can even just change throughout the day. Even if you know on the scale, it’s not like it’s changing drastically but the way that like bloating and just our body can respond before eating, after eating, all that sort of stuff. And I think a way with that to practice body neutrality might even be like, okay, are there certain clothes like do I need to wear looser pants today or do I need to, like if I’m getting in my head about like my jeans feel tighter today, what is something I can do to distract myself? And really the way I talk to clients about that is almost thinking of it as like mindful distraction. ’cause I think when we think of like distracting yourself, sometimes it can feel like this, like almost this like avoidant type behavior in a negative way.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:10:55  But it’s more of that like proactive. I know if I spend too much time just kind of like ruminating on this thought that like my jeans feel tighter, why are they tighter? That might then spiral me into like skipping dinner or you know, whatever the behavior may be. So trying to have something, you know, let’s say after lunch, if you’re catching yourself in your thoughts, encouraging yourself of like, okay, I’m gonna get up and do something. And it doesn’t even have to be anything like super like grandiose or therapeutic. It could even be like I’m gonna go clean the kitchen. Like something that just helps like change the page in your mind of like we’re moving from this thought cycle and trying to distract by doing something else

 

 Emily Field 00:11:34  That can be really powerful. And that what you’re describing is a little bit of habit stacking that’s gonna retrain the brain not to go there and we wanna do that often. And then it becomes like a longterm behavior and then you notice less and less that you’re doing that body checking or like staying in yourself for so long and like ruminating and things like that. Yes,

 

Dylan Murphy 00:11:53  Totally. Yeah. Because the more energy we give to those thoughts, obviously the more they’re gonna come up. They’re gonna become this like habitual thing where like you eat lunch, you’re automatically kind of paying attention to how your body feels versus that. Yeah. Getting into that habit of getting up from the table when you’re done eating. So then you’re not even giving yourself time to really ate on certain things.

 

 Emily Field 00:12:14  You described when you found the potty positive movement not working well for your clients  , it was just like not helpful for a lot of people because they do wanna change something about themselves. They do feel like there’s a health tie to maybe losing fat or to improving your blood pressure, which might also lead to weight loss. Like there’s a lot of ties with like improving your health markers and also weight loss. How do you navigate with a client, you know in practice that we’re separating the two or maybe they’re still cohesive. You wanna guide someone safely in a weight loss journey or fat loss journey because you don’t want to trigger the same diet talk and then spiral them   like I’m not sure. So you know, obviously I get this question a little bit from critics of macro tracking and using macros to manipulate your body composition, your athletic performance, your health markers. I certainly see a difference between using tools with intent and positive intent versus like trying to harm yourself. But I’m curious how you navigate that with your clients if their goal really is weight loss and is kind of like a health issue, how are we separating those two things? Yeah,

 

Dylan Murphy 00:13:22  That’s a really great question And I think even first saying like I think that anyone can turn anything into like a negative diet. Like even with, because a lot of what I talk about with clients is like this idea of intuitive eating and people can easily turn that into a diet of like, okay, well I’m not hungry right now so I guess I shouldn’t eat this like muffin when I’m out to coffee with a friend. Like and then that almost becomes like restricting without even intending it to be restricting. Mmhmm   So like anything can become a diet even if it’s not a diet. Right?  . But that was just like a random note on that. So with the like weight loss changing your appearance, I feel like over the years I’ve like done a lot of thinking and learning and just in the work I’ve done with clients to really find like, okay, what does that look like?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:14:07  And I think for me one thing that’s really important is recognizing, like I use the analogy of like a stove where we think about like okay the weight piece is on the back burner. Like what we wanna focus on if we really wanna improve our health. You mentioned like blood pressure or if we wanna, you know, if you have some sort of like family history of heart disease, high cholesterol, whatever it may be, even if it’s just, it might not even be specific labs, it could just be like I feel winded all the time or I have young kids and I wanna be able to play with them and you know, whatever the motivator may be. We want that to be on the forefront of like, okay, what are the health habits that we need to really address to improve your overall quality of life, your overall health. And then what we can know to be true is if your body is carrying more weight then it’s really meant to carry, you’ll lose weight, you’ll lose fat. But a lot of the work I do with clients is helping them see like I can’t promise that you’re gonna lose weight.

 

 Emily Field 00:15:06  Yeah. I say the same exact thing,  , yes.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:15:09  I always say I am like your body could do three things. It could gain weight, it could lose weight, the weight could stay the same. We can’t predict that. But what we know is like we can work on these health habits. So you know, if you’re some examples that come to mind of like if you’re eating a lot of meals out, if you’re not eating that much protein or you know, if you don’t have much of a like exercise routine, like let’s focus on those things and then see what the ripple effect is. Mmhmm   Whereas I think what all of these like diets do and you know, I think with the macro counting piece, like there’s definitely people out there that use it in the negative way of like we’re using this just to manipulate our weight. But I think what diets do is focus on like how can we change the weight without even really looking at like the habits in general. Which is why none of it becomes like a longterm thing. Mmhmm   versus if you’re really looking at like the habits and the lifestyle factors you’re creating these longterm habits. Now sometimes it might be a slower time to get there but it ends up, you know, it’s worth it in the long run ’cause you’re developing these lifelong habits.

 

 Emily Field 00:16:14  Yeah. And you’re describing leaning into curiosity like when you approach anything with curiosity, I wonder what will happen to my life if I change these habits. It’s a lot more positive than saying I’m going to try to meticulously manipulate this one metric. And you and I both know as practitioners it’s really difficult to manipulate weight from a weight standpoint just from a scale standpoint. Just really trying to like just nail down like how to lose weight  . It just becomes not rewarding. And that’s what you’re saying is like that’s what will spiral you to stay on the diet wagon and continue to try to find more and more restrictive ways to manipulate that. That’s the only thing that you’re finding success in versus wow, I’m eating more vegetables, I’m moving my body more, um, I’m less winded, my strength has improved. Things like that. Those are things within your control, your weight is likely not within your control. So I love that analogy of putting it on the back burner and leaning into curiosity when you’re on that journey.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:17:11  Yes. And I think, you know, what I’m also doing with clients and especially because of the type of clients that are often coming to our practice is being able to do what I talked about at the beginning of like the body image piece alongside that where like some people may come to us and really feel it like a good place with their body image where then we can trust like their own like selfawareness and intuition to know like, hey if I’m getting to a place where this is like I’m getting like spiraled in the body image stuff, let’s work on that. And a lot of our clients are coming from like, well all I’ve ever done is dieted and all I’ve ever done is focus on like how much I weigh and you know, is what I’m doing working. And so we’re often having to kind of do the both and of like mmhmm   doing the body image work to get to a place of more of that neutrality while also working on certain health behaviors and that sort of

 

 Emily Field 00:18:01  Thing. Mmhmm  . You described some potential red flags maybe like that come along. Like if I’m noticing myself go down this track, that’s probably a red flag and I’m sure even in intuitive eating you can see people using it like you described in a poor way. So what are some red flags or questions you might ask a client or you ask them of themselves to know that you’re kind of slipping into that diet mindset again, you’re being too rigid. Something like that.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:18:28  Yes, totally. I think if it feels like, ’cause even like macro accounting for me, like macro tracking, like if you feel like you can’t take a day off or like, you know you go on vacation and it’s this obsession of like, well what if I can’t, you know, track everything or what if I don’t know how much is in this or I’m going out to dinner or if it feels like, you know, I’m always having like every day it has to be perfect, you know? And if you’re finding any kind of like anxiety or overwhelm, if you’re kind of quote unquote breaking any rules, that definitely is a red flag of like okay this is getting a little too obsessive. Like how can I rail this back to, ’cause you know, with like macro tracking what can be helpful is helping you learn like okay I need to make sure I’m eating enough protein and carbs and fat and like all of these foods where oftentimes, you know, if we’re thinking about dieting it’s more the opposite of like how can I eat as little as possible?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:19:24  Oftentimes we’re not even getting all of the macros or getting an adequate amount of all of them. So I think it, yeah, if the mindset switches to more of that like how can I get as little as possible? You know, if you’re feeling like if there’s days that you eat more than maybe a typical day and you find like, okay I need to like skip breakfast tomorrow or I need to spend an extra 20 minutes in the gym. Like if those kind of compensatory behaviors come in, that’s something I always tell clients. Like we wanna get to a place where, you know, you could have a day where like you have two cookies after dinner and it’s fine, tomorrow’s a new day. You can, you know, you don’t have to do anything the next day to compensate for that. And so if you’re finding you have that kind of like give and take, that definitely would be a red flag to look forward to.

 

 Emily Field 00:20:12  And one of my favorite wins with clients is what you just described, it’s like if they fall short on their macros a couple days in a row and they view it like, man I used to think that of this as a success and now you’re like no I need to eat more. I need to reach my goals. Like that mentality is so fun to witness and also like what you’re describing with the letting it go if you have an off day, like it’s a normal human experience to overeat occasionally. And so letting it go and just like letting it just be and then starting the next day the best that you can can be through such a great forward movement for these people. Mmhmm   So we’ve kind of talked about this already, but you know, describing how somebody wants to improve their health, they want to improve their body composition, maybe even their athletic performance and they don’t wanna spiral into diet culture again. They’ve decided that that’s not for them, it’s not serving them. So what are some specific steps that you think they can start to disconnect from diet culture? Like make it less pervasive in their brain as they’re chasing these goals or working with us?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:21:10  Yeah, absolutely. So like how can they have goals but not get like so obsessed or get kind of into the like diet culture mindset. Mmhmm  . Yeah. I think one big thing is getting clear on like the why behind your goal. I think sometimes when we set goals, especially if there’s certain like fitness or food goals, honestly sometimes if we really peel back the layers it could be tied to weight of like, Ooh, well if I train for this marathon then maybe I’ll lose weight and like that’s what I really want. Versus like, oh I’ve always wanted to run a marathon and you know, this location we’re going to or some of my friends are gonna sign up to and this would be like really fun and you know, also maybe a good challenge and something to keep me accountable to exercising regularly. And again with that back burner example of like depending on your body, maybe you will lose weight from like working out more but that doesn’t need to be the motivator.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:22:05  Mmhmm   So I think yeah, spending some time of like the why behind whatever like your fitness goal is or food goal. Even if I think about, I feel like marathon might even be like a big example but even if you’re thinking about like I want to lift weights more, I wanna get in the gym more, I wanna be able to lift a certain amount, I wanna be able to like do more pushups like whatever those kind of things. Again asking yourself the why behind that. Like why do I wanna get stronger And you know, I think, and I’m sure you talk about this with clients like obviously there’s so many benefits to exercise and to building muscle and as we get older and all of that sort of stuff. And so just being clear on that versus like, ooh, okay this is gonna make me feel better in my body. This is gonna make me feel, you know, I’m gonna lose all this weight and it’s gonna be summertime. And again that like kind of back burner like those results may come like sure if you’re lifting more weight you’re gonna build muscle, you’re gonna see like your appearance will change. But that doesn’t need to be the primary goal because again that’s what keeps these things like more short term fixes versus like actually turning ’em to habits.

 

 Emily Field 00:23:11  Yeah, that’s great. I think what you’re describing too is like when you talked about all these goals for performance and like marathon and lifting weights, the sense of pride and confidence that you have just for following through on a physical goal like that is gonna change your life in a positive way period. So I love watching that transformation happen for people when it’s so back burner, it’s so like back of mind what’s happening with their body because they have that sense of pride and confidence because they were falling through

 

Dylan Murphy 00:23:38  Totally. And it’s honestly gonna be easier to follow through on it if you have a deeper why versus if like changing your body is the motivator. It’s hard for that to be like as motivating as you may think it would be. Especially if you’re having a day, you know we were talking about body image, like if you’re having a day where you don’t feel a hundred percent in your body, for some people it might lead to like, okay well now I’m like pushing myself in the gym and not even enjoying it or I’m like well I don’t even wanna go to the gym today ’cause I don’t feel great and my body. So yeah, if we can get really more in tune with like what is my why? Why is this important to me? How does this impact me in a positive way? It’s gonna make developing that habit so much easier. Mmhmm  

 

 Emily Field 00:24:19  Yeah there’s gonna be days you don’t wanna show up for that goal and weight loss, it will never carry you through those challenges. Even if you really really want it, there’s gonna come a day where you don’t feel like doing it. But if your why is really rooted in something much bigger, it’ll carry you through. You will take your bad days, you’ll take your good days totally.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:24:36  Mmhmm  

 

 Emily Field 00:24:37  So somebody’s like listening and they’re like okay well I definitely have a body image problem     and I wanna improve my relationship with my body. I wanna improve my relationship with food. Do you have any, like you’ve just talked about getting clear on your why for your goals. That’s a great tip. Do you have any other actionable tips that somebody might take to improve their body image? Maybe even just getting to neutrality from negative?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:24:59  Yeah, a question I love to ask people is how do they see their body image impacting their day? And so I think by asking yourself that question and kind of seeing how your body image shows up in day to day, is it impacting like examples we talked about earlier of like is it showing up when you’re like getting ready for work? Is it showing up when you’re out to happy hour with friends and they wanna take a picture and you wanna get out of it or like you’re on the beach or how is it impacting your day? And then kind of almost like reverse engineering of like, okay, based on these like places that it shows up, what work do I need to do in that moment? So you know, we talked about like the mirror example or with the picture example. Like let’s say you’re out with friends somewhere and they wanna take a picture.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:25:44  Maybe you don’t need to look at the picture in that moment ’cause you know like I don’t feel a hundred percent today if I look at that it’s probably gonna make me spiral so I need to just like not look at that. And a lot of what we’re talking about here is even figuring out certain boundaries you may need with yourself. And a lot of that might be short term of like okay then getting to a place once I feel more neutral in my body where I could see a picture of myself and be able to see it more almost like black and white in a sense of like, okay, maybe I don’t love how I look but like whatever. Like you know, it’s just one picture like being able to see it a little not as like loud as maybe you would in more of a negative place. So yeah, I think spending time thinking about like how does your body image impact your day and then working from there like based on that answer, what are kind of tangible tweaks I could make? Like not looking in the mirror when I’m getting ready or not looking at the picture or you know, saying yes to something that you might say no to if it was from body image, like not saying yes to

 

 Emily Field 00:26:46  Each vacation.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:26:47  Yeah, exactly. Like being on the bathing suit. So yeah, kind of seeing what you’d say no to and challenging yourself to do the opposite. Those are some things for sure. And then one thing too that a lot of clients find really helpful is even just like a gratitude practice. So either at the beginning or the end of each day trying to write like it could be three things, it could be five things that you know, number doesn’t necessarily matter but writing a few things down that you’re proud of and it not, they don’t even really have to be focused on your body and honestly if they’re not focused on your body almost better. Like basically trying to, a lot of that’s trying to improve just your overall selfesteem of like, okay I am smart, I’m a good friend, I am like whatever might sound good to you and feel aligned to you. ’cause then that’s helping for you to find purpose outside of how your body looks.

 

 Emily Field 00:27:35  Yeah. That’s powerful. You know? Yeah. You’re getting your brain out of that weird space. You’re spending less time overall thinking about your body, which is a good thing and making your life look fuller instead of just like what does my body look like and what, how is it operating through space? It’s like removing like life is so much bigger than that and you’re calling attention to that. That’s great. It’s a good exercise.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:27:56  Yeah and I, I think overall that can be a really helpful practice of like, how can I really just get myself out of my body where like at the end of the day when I think about my friends, when I think about my family, like I don’t want them to be like, the only reason they like me is ’cause how I look or the only reason they wanna be around me. So thinking about like what qualities do I have? Like what are some things that I’m grateful for either about myself, about today, whatever it may be, that’s really helping to kind of get you out of that like appearance focus. Mmhmm

 

 Emily Field 00:28:24    I love that. So I tend to work with a lot of women who are in a perimenopause ruby menopause stage of life and that might be their first trigger. They’re like, wow, my old tactics are not working, I really need help. Or maybe they’re a couple steps ahead of that and they’re like, I’ve been trying things on my own and I realize I’m really deep entrenched in diet culture and I’m doing things the wrong way and I want better for myself. Is there something that you would say to those people as far as like your body image concerns evolving over different life stages or maybe being confronted with the fact that your body isn’t gonna look the same at 80, at 60, at 30, at 20. Which we all logically know but for whatever reason women seem to be hooked on this idea that just like, I mean men have a lot, you know, don’t have the same hormonal changes across the lifespan. So maybe it is more realistic for them to largely stay the same across the entire lifespan but not really for women. So I’m curious if there’s anything unique you would say to a woman who’s in that stage and kind of wrestling with those thoughts.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:29:24  Yeah, that’s a really good question and I think that like body neutrality and even just kind of acceptance piece can be really helpful. I think also and kind of like you said is doing the work to remind yourself and free yourself from that belief that like your body should look the same over the span of your life. And I know that can be hard. I mean especially with that like perimenopause and menopause space where things like you said your clients see where like people may see like, okay, well I’ve eaten this way my whole life and like been one weight and maybe not you know your whole life but let’s say the past 20 years or so and now I like have these 10 extra pounds that I didn’t use to have. But I think the same thing is true of like, okay, well you could do, you know, some quick fix diet, get super strict to try and drop those 10 pounds.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:30:18  Or you could do the work of like, okay, I’m not a hundred percent comfortable with this but obviously my body’s gone through this big transition and I can’t really expect it to look the same that it did before. So what do I need to do for myself now? Do I need to like get rid of clothes that don’t fit right now? Do I need to be mindful about like not looking at old pictures of myself as much? Because I see that too with some of the clients I work with that are in that like pregnancy and postpartum space where it can kind of be similar of like mmhmm   okay my body looked one way before I was pregnant and now after I having kids, even if I’ve kind of maybe settled to where my body’s gonna settle, things look a little bit different than they used to and what do I do with that? Mmhmm  . And I think there also, which I think this is a little bit harder maybe in that like perimenopause and menopause space, but the like reminding yourself what your body does for you. ’cause I think it’s easy to feel like your body’s the enemy in the sense of like, why are all these changes happening? Mmhmm. And this feels so uncomfortable and mmhmm It didn’t used to be like this. But then also again reminding yourself and, and like you said, I’m glad that you said that like logically it’s, you can kind of yeah.

 

 Emily Field 00:31:26  Rationalize it.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:31:27  Mmhmm Like okay if I’m 60 I can’t expect to like fit into the clothes I did when I was 20. But I think also there can kind of be that like false sense of hope that people can have of like, well maybe I will, maybe I will be the person that when I’m 60 I can wear the same clothes that I did when I was 20 and there might be some people out there like that. Mmhmm   that are living like a truly healthy life and that’s just how their body’s settling. But I think the more you can work to just like release the pressure of your body having to look like a certain way and again bring it back to like what are the habits I need to focus on? What are the things I need to be mindful of And like have there been changes to my health related to menopause perimenopause that maybe I need to be more mindful of? Or is it more of just that body image piece that, you know, I need to do the work to like make peace with where my body is. Mmhmm  .

 

 Emily Field 00:32:17  You mentioned maybe getting rid of clothes that don’t fit anymore and expanding your wardrobe. That can be a point of resistance sometimes with people because they don’t wanna spend the money. They have this belief that they will fit back in those clothes. They’ve spent money on their wardrobe and I get that challenge. You and I both have used newly yes for maybe different reasons, but one of the suggestions that I might give to a client with that is newly as a clothing rental program and you sign up for a monthly membership and you get six items of clothing and it can be a really powerful tool for people that are in this space of transition. They’re working on themselves from a health standpoint, their body is changing and they aren’t ready to get rid of their clothes. Maybe this is like a step in the right direction to have clothes that fit that you enjoy. You’re trying new trends, things like that. Is that something that you use with your clients too?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:33:05  Yes, absolutely. I think newly can be a great resource because it’s, you know, I know saying something like just get rid of clothes that don’t fit. Like I know there’s so much in that mmhmm   like it’s, I mean, a costly thing. Obviously there’s like emotion tied to it. Then it’s also like, do I need to buy more clothes and how do I find clothes that I actually like? And I think newly can be really helpful because also it allows you kind of, if you’re even in that like in between, like I used it a ton both pregnant and in the like early postpartum days where it’s like okay, I don’t wanna go out and buy clothes ’cause I know like my body’s not this size, but I also want clothes that like I feel comfortable in mmhmm  . So you know, I’d rather rinse some that’ll be cheaper than like go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. So yeah, I think that can be really helpful. And even like thrifting clothes, like finding like cheaper places to get clothes from even if you need some like in the interim. But yeah, I do think places like newly can be really good to still get like fun things that feel in line with like your style without having to like go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Mmhmm

 

 Emily Field 00:34:12    Yeah. And I think when you start renting clothes you actually realize how little you need. And that might be a piece of this too, is like the consumerism of it all. How many clothes do you actually need? And we have these huge closets that are filled to the brand, but how much do you actually wear and like feel a little bit happier for you to one, get rid of or to at each season maybe go through and and try things on and kind of pare down your closet. I’ve been on a mission to kind of have a capsule closet. Yes. Like what am I doing with all of these clothes  ?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:34:41  Oh, me too. Yeah. Know. I feel like every time I like switch out my closet I’m like, if I didn’t wear this this season, like maybe that’s a sign that like I don’t like this anymore. So like why do I keep hanging it back up, putting it in the box, hanging it back up. Yeah.

 

 Emily Field 00:34:54  Anything else that you would say for those people that are in that interim period where they’re working on themselves or they’re in a period of transition? We talked about perimenopause and menopause, but also post pregnancy. Are there any other tips from the clothing perspective that you have to help that body image? I feel like that’s where it shows up for a lot of people is in the clothing trying on the last season versus this season the realizing that your body is different, that sort of thing. Yes.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:35:18  One thing honestly that I even practice myself in the seasons of like pregnancy and early postpartum is trying to find things outside of just like clothes specifically. So whether it’s like jewelry shoes, like other things that kind of go into the like getting ready process. Something that brings you joy. ’cause that was, I would say the first time I realized when I was pregnant with my son of like, oh it is fun like putting on clothes that like you feel good in and that you like. And obviously when your body looks different than it normally does, that feels different. So then finding like, ooh, these shoes really like make me happy. Or this necklace or these earrings. Like having something outside of your clothes that also like you can probably wear regardless of your body size. So whether you feel like you’re in this almost like in between or kind of working to like make peace with where your body may be settling. I think finding something that is like outside of like specific clothes that feel more kind of in a sense, like a neutral item of like mmhmm   no matter what my body looks like, I can wear these

 

 Emily Field 00:36:21  Like shoes or jewelry. Yes. And accessories for your hair. Or like doing a different hairstyle or something like that. Yeah. Yes,

 

Dylan Murphy 00:36:28  Totally. Like spinning a little more time on your hair or like a fun new lip gloss or kind of figuring out like what makes sense for you. It could even be like getting new tennis shoes that to wear to the gym, like it, whatever it may be. I think those little things can help bring you some joy in the like getting dressed process. Mmhmm

 

 Emily Field 00:36:45   . One of the things you talk about with our clients, you know, at the end of your talk around this module in body image I think is a really powerful actionable step is improving your online experience. From a body image perspective, we would never interact with some of the people that we interact with online in our real life. We would not hear the messages that we do negative messages like in our real life. So one of the action steps you really give for our clients is you need to take a critical eye of what you’re immersing yourself with subconsciously on a social media stage. Can you expand on that a little bit and maybe even add a couple other action steps that can help people foster a positive or even just neutral body image like today? For sure.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:37:27  Yeah, I think it’s so easy for people. I mean I can even group myself in this, like to get on social media and to realize like, ooh, this is impacting, whether it’s like your body image or just your like happiness with how your house looks like, whatever it may be. Totally impacting me in a negative way and really taking a step back and being like, okay, I have like autonomy over who I choose to follow on social media. Like I don’t have to follow these people and I love how you just put it of like what I even interact with this person in real life. You know, or the messages that they’re saying. And so I think really giving yourself the power to unfollow people. And sometimes it might be like, okay, I really do like the content this person puts out, but they do also talk about like their diet a lot or their body or just I compare myself to them so maybe I don’t need to follow them right now.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:38:15  So giving yourself freedom to really like step away from that can be really freeing. And then also even looking at like, do I need to spend less time in general on social media, less time watching, you know, TV or whatever it may be. Like do I need to spend less time doing that? And then if so, what can I fill my time with that might be more like life giving and fulfilling and you know, new hobbies or getting outside more or you know, whatever the behavior may be. So I think one, just auditing like who you’re following and the content you’re consuming, but then also even just like assessing how much time am I spending on this app in general and like, do I wanna spend that much time? Mmhmm  . What else could I do that like curiosity piece, like how else could I fill my time and how would that potentially like boost my mood in an even better way?

 

 Emily Field 00:39:07  I think I noticed in starting my business, I probably followed all the people that I thought were doing it right and that I noticed that it was absolutely negatively impacting me and   negatively impacting me, period.  . So I love that idea of, I definitely did a social media audit like, and I do try to do it seasonally, try to do it like quarterly where I’m like, is this bringing up anything for me? Like comparison trap, you know, they’re doing business this way, does that mean I have to, or I’m feeling negative about myself. So same thing with body image and I remember like specifically following accounts for house stuff and plants. Yes. And pets  . And it just made my online experience so much better. So I highly recommend  .

 

Dylan Murphy 00:39:49  Yes. And that’s a good point. ’cause you know, with the unfollowing aspect it’s like what do I actually wanna be consuming? Like what brings me joy? What lights me up? And like what would it look like to just follow those type of accounts and not follow these accounts that are really impacting me in a negative way? Mmhmm

 

 Emily Field 00:40:05 Yeah. So yes, we have talked about a lot here today with regard to body neutrality, breaking away from diet culture, you know, selfesteem, selfcompassion. Is there anything else that you’d like to leave listeners with now, like one takeaway that you hope listeners take with them at the end of this conversation? I’m sure there’s a, there’s a lot that you can dig into here, but any one lasting thought to wrap this all up?

 

Dylan Murphy 00:40:28  Yeah, I think the biggest thing would be, you know, if people are listening feeling like, I just feel like body neutrality feels impossible or like a life without these like diets and this rigid like rule following feels impossible. That makes sense. It can feel that way, but the best way to start working towards it is even just thinking about like, what step do I need to take today? What is one thing I can do to move me closer? Because yeah, if you feel like you’re super bodied, negative and really critical about yourself and in all of these diets, it is gonna feel really hard to get to that neutrality piece, but it’s a hundred percent possible. So seeing like, what do I need to do today? And just asking yourself each day seeing if you know, you need to bring in accountability, you need a dietician, you need resources. And then that’s where a lot of these tangible things we talked about here of like the mirror and the closet and your social media of like even just picking one, like you don’t have to do all of this right away. Maybe it’s like, okay, this week, this month, today I’m gonna focus on social media stuff or I’m gonna focus on my closet and kind of building from there because that’s gonna help improve just your overall self esteem and your mood and the way that you look at yourself.

 

 Emily Field 00:41:44  That literally speaks to the all or nothing mindset too, right? Like you can’t do everything all at one time. And if you try to, it’s usually going to blow up in your face. So it’s a really good tip of just take one thing that you heard in this episode or even just um, consider following Dylan and being inundated with her kind of content. And on that note, I’d love for you to share where people can follow you or find you. I know you also have a podcast, so if you wanna be inundated with this kind of language, that can be super powerful too.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:42:11  Yes. So yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at Dylan Murphy dot rd and then the Instagram for my business is Free Method Nutrition. And then my podcast is Free Method podcast and we’ve taken a break from releasing new episodes, but there’s still tons of episodes up there. And eventually we’ll get back in the rhythm of releasing episodes.

 

 Emily Field 00:42:33  And I love that podcast because it is short and sweet. Some of those episodes are really like 15 or 20 minutes long and that’s just long enough for a little walk or your morning commute. It’s not something that you have to do heavy lifting with body image. It’s really that small bite and I love that

 

Dylan Murphy 00:42:49  For sure. And then yeah, in our website, free method nutrition.com, we have some like free resources and even just more information about working with our team or kind of any next steps that might be helpful.

 

 Emily Field 00:43:01  Yes. Thank you so much, Dylan. This was so helpful. You really provided so much value here and I know that listeners are gonna be overjoyed to consume this and try out some of the things that you’ve shared, so I really appreciate your expertise here.

 

Dylan Murphy 00:43:14  Yes, thank you so much for having me.

 

 Emily Field 00:43:16  Thank you so much for listening to the Macros Made Easy podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the one you’re listening to right now to share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Emily Field Rd so that more people can find this podcast and learn how to use a macros approach in a stressfree way. If you love the podcast, head over to iTunes and leave me a rating and a review. Remember, you can always find more free health and nutrition content on Instagram and on my website at emilyfieldrd.com. Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you on the next episode.